Dear God,
Despair darkens
my door once again. Troubles keep growing and depression sets in my
mind. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. I don’t see a way out,
so I don’t find a way out. I am overwhelmed and encompassed with
disparity and negativity. I act like it doesn’t bother me and like I
don’t worry, but it does, and I do. Terrible thoughts enter my mind of
how I could solve my problems, thoughts I never dared think before.
Desperate times make you think and do desperate things. Well, nothing
and no one makes you do anything, but they can be persuasive to a
vulnerable mind.
The thing that
bothers me most is that I brought it on myself. Now that I have gotten
myself so deep, I can’t see to dig my way out. When you can’t see you
begin to lose hope. If you lose hope completely there is no escape.
I’m frighteningly close. People are counting on me and throw my words
back at me. I said I would fix it, but I haven’t. I haven’t even made
an effort to fix it. I am ashamed and embarrassed. Everyone has lost
all respect for me. It’s funny how people turn on you in the blink of
an eye.
It seems like yesterday I
was on the top of their list, but now I’m not even worthy enough to make
the bottom. I need help and fast. I am hurting. I need an escape
before I do something I will regret. Please help me. Please. I’m
doing what I can now, what I know to do, but it’s not enough. I need
help. I need a miracle. Please give me a miracle. You’re the only One
that can help. You’re the only One who hasn’t turned on me. Please
help me, God. I need you more than ever. Please.
Desperately,
Your
son.
