I'm Jealous!

This morning my cousin and her husband are boarding a plane and heading to Mexico for Christmas. Yep, I'm jealous.

Now, for me Christmas just isn't the same without snow (though we may not get any anyway) or without family, but I still envy being able to get away and go somewhere with nice weather and beaches and all that jazz.

They did this secret getaway package I'm gathering where they don't even know what hotel they're staying in, but it's a highly rated 'secret' resort, so it should be nice.

We'll definitely miss you, Susan and Vince, as we sit here getting pale and cold while you two get tan and warm, but that's okay. We'll raise a glass of egg nog and sing a Christmas carol in your absence. :)

Have a great time, you two.

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Christmas at Comic Related

Check out the forum post linked to the title of this post real quick. Go on, it'll only take a minute. I'll be here, ready to continue as soon as you're through...




Okay, now that you're with it, this is a call to all you writers out there (or artists) who may want to contribute to Comic Related for some content. Whether you're a regular contributor or not, just if you want to or have something to add for some Christmas reading then by all means let us know!

If you want to know what site this will be on, check out the main site www.comicrelated.com. It's top notch design with tons of great content, and it's updated 365 days a year! I've championed the site enough you should all be familiar with it by now surely. For a while this blog became a commercial for the relaunch of the site, and now I'm just thrilled to be a part of it, and am taking initiative with this Christmas content.

Generally, this would be more a call for writers, but hey, if you're an artist and want to contribute a holiday piece (keep it clean though) for posting with a link to your online gallery that's cool too. Or if you have a webcomic with a holiday strip send us a link and we'll post that too if we get enough of them.

Just whatever you want to do let us know. You can register on the forums and post there, or you can post here, or you can email me (click contact at the top of this blog and use the second email).

And if you don't want to contribute anything, just be sure to check the site out on Christmas for some cool content!

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Journey of a Wannabe - The Inspiration

And the latest column is up a day early this week! Go check it out for some awful art by yours truly and some recollection on comics and cartoons!

Click the title of the post as usual.

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Disappearing Posts?!?

Ok, something really strange just happened. The last post I made was my 900th post, but when I just now logged in it says I have only made 860 posts! So somehow I just lost 40 posts, and I have no idea which ones I lost!

Has this happened to anyone else??? That's messed up!

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Lady Tows Tow Truck!

This is hilarious! We've all been there or seen it I'm sure. A tow truck hauls off our vehicles as we watch helplessly. Well this lady decided she wasn't giving her car up without a fight!

I Have a Forum!

That's right, yours truly now has a dedicated, public forum! I had my own forums at one point, but I kept them private and now they are filled with spam and I'm taking them down. But Chuck Moore at ComicRelated.com has been kind enough to allow me a space on the Comic Related forums!

So, now everything I'm working on has a place for discussion! I'll be posting samples and other stuff there you won't find on my sites or this blog, and I'm inviting you all to come check it all out and strike up a conversation with me!

Just click the title of this post to get to the forum. It's mostly bare right now as I'm working to populate it right now. But soon it will be filled with content for you to peruse and talk about!

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Cold and Snowy

We had a winter storm advisory all through the night last night, and sure enough I woke up to an inch or two of snow. Not too bad, and fortunately not as bad as they thought (there were fears it would be like the ice storm of 2003 where many went without power for anywhere from a few hours to a week or two, including us). But at least in my area the power is still on, but it is quite nippy.

The last episode of Heroes until February aired last night, and it was a fun one. Ando finally got a power, Peter seemed to have gotten his back again, and Hiro was rescued from the past. But things look to become grim when it starts back up with the next chapter entitled "Vigilantes". Should be fun.

I just realized I haven't been getting much reading in lately. In fact, I can't remember the last time I really sat down and read. It's been a while. Hopefully once the insanity of the holiday rush is through I'll be able to take some chill time and read a bit without tons of things on my mind.

The tooth, by the way, is much better. It still flares up a bit, but it's calming down. I should be good until I can get into my dentist next year. I also seem to once again be over my cold, at least for the moment. But with the change of weather (it was nearly 60 Sunday, and then today it's 28 with ice and snow) may have something to say about that.

I'm just about caught up on all paid lettering and logo work. I still have to finish up a logo, but everything else is there. I've got some backend stuff I'm still catching up on, but you know. I've also got some writing to do. I've got a few more music bios I need to get done, and I'm waiting on the go ahead for some articles.

I'm staying in good spirits...

My uncle never did make it over to help me with the lights. And aside from the bad weather, he's having hand surgery Thursday, so we definitely won't be putting up lights this year. I should take those clips back and get my $5 back...

I've been thinking a lot lately about people I used to know. Kind of remininscing I guess. I guess that happens at this time of year though. Been thinking about my dad a lot too.

Anyway, this should be a good night to get some writing done. Fringe is done for the season, so I have nothing on TV tonight, and I'm not tired, so it should be productive. The keyword there is "should".

Aside from the articles and the music bios, I've GOT to get Wannabez #2 done. And Jason Moser has been on me about finishing Dowry #1 as well to give him something to work on. So I've still got plenty to do. I really hope I get the go ahead on those articles soon though...

And with that I guess I'm off.

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Christmas Wallpapers

A couple of years ago I used a different Christmas wallpaper for each day of December up to Christmas. I'm not doing that this year, but I still looked around and found some cool ones I thought I'd share.

First up, some I've posted here before:



Now, here are some I found recently that I thought were pretty cool.







And then this last one gets an honorable mention because it's so twisted.


I haven't decided which one I'm going to use yet, though the Yoda one and the Nightmare Before Christmas one are contenders.

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Jazma Interview!

Click the title of this post to read an interview I did for Jazma Online. I was asked several questions about Wannabez and the interview went live tonight!

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Surviving

As I type this I am clenching my mouth shut because I have a severe toothache. It's a back lower molar that just needs to come out, and this is the worst it's been. It's flared up a couple of times, but not too bad and not for too long. I'm all too familiar with the way it feels tonight. It will probably give me trouble for a few days at least. I won't be able to get into my dentist until well after Christmas, so I'm hoping Advil or Aleve will do the trick.

Las night I had a gall bladder attack. Not the worst one I've had, but not the mildest either. It woke me up and kept me up, but it passed thankfully.

Though the thermostat in the house reads 73 it is so cold in my room, and now my throat is once again raw and it hurts to swallow. Just days after I had thought myself over that nasty cold too.

But I'm surviving. I managed to get some work done last night and into this morning and early afternoon. And I've been looking into some other things as well.

I won't be starting those things I mentioned until next week because they require a bit of effort and preparation on my part, and I'm just not up to it at the moment.

My uncle didn't make it over to help with the lights again today, so we'll see what happens tomorrow. It's supposed to be warmer tomorrow, but cloudy, so it may not make a difference. But as I mentioned before, after that it's a few days of rain, then it will be only one week until Christmas, and there won't be much point in putting up lights then.

Tonight is the Ultimate Fighter finale. I've watched Ultimate Fighter since season one and really got into MMA/UFC at that point. I'm pulling for a couple of favorites, but we'll see what happens. I'm going to tape it as I don't feel like watching it with the pain. I tend to tense up when watching it anticipating moves and such, and that just wouldn't be good when I'm trying to relax to get rid of this toothache.

I may be writing a lot here pretty soon. Not on this blog, and not scripts or novels, but articles. I'll fill you in when the time comes. I will be writing two comic scripts pretty intensely before the end of the year though, and next year I am going forward with the novel. Jason, we'll definitely have to keep each other motivated on our writing efforts in 2009.

Speaking of Jason, who lives in Australia, I was watching Transformers earlier tonight and the Aussie chick hacker's accent really appealed to me for some reason. Could be because she's very attractive as well, I don't know. I'm just sayin'.

I've now been up for 22 hours straight. I tried to sleep this morning, and again a couple of hours ago, both times to no avail. My eyes are so heavy it's hard to even focus on the screen, but right now laying down makes my tooth hurt worse, so up I am.

And on that note, I guess I better figure out some way to relax and get this to ease down.

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I Should Really Be Working

That's not to say I haven't worked today, but I should be working instead of posting 5 posts to the blog today.

I have been on the computer since midnight last night, non-stop, yet I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. That's not true as I did accomplish some stuff, but it's just one of those days where everything is going slow and nothing's clicking just right.

Usually Fridays are the good, relaxing day that launches you into the weekend, but this Friday feels like a Monday to me. Maybe that will explain my seeming split personalities exhibited in the various posts today, I don't know. Maybe I'm just looking for some reasonable explanation as to why I'm being a total spaz today.

As for work, I have finally dug my way out of a mountain of Haven emails and work, but I'm only about half done with all that had built up.

I am eight pages deep into En Garde! and it's coming out quite nicely so far.

Tomorrow I will finish the Visionary submission pages, at least the first draft of them.

I'm also going to send some variations off to True West.

I may work on a variation of the Jesse Roland banner I posted a few posts earlier this weekend, but that's only time permitting.

I hope to make headway on a logo that has kept me stumped.

Genesis #2 is giving me problems and I'm waiting to hear back from the writer for a bail out.

Venger #2 I'm still far behind on sadly.

I just received the pages for the next installment of Ellium yesterday, so I've got that now.

Sadly, a lot of this work I've already been paid for, or it's backend, or a trade off, but it's work, and work that I'm more than willing to do for one reason or another.

Outside of work, I have also updated the sidebar a little, though it won't be noticeable. I cleaned up and updated my ComicSpace page, and even added a new gallery. And I applied for a few jobs, but haven't heard back about those yet.

At 2 I have to pick up my brother and get food. Then I'll probably take a nap as I've been up all night and my eyes are already burning.

Sometime this weekend we may finally put lights on the house, but only if my uncle has free time (he's the one with the ladder and the know-how). If not, I'm going to just forget about it as it will be pointless.

It has been really cold here the past couple of days, with freezing rain and low temps. This weekend it's supposed to warm up a little, but back to raining Monday.

I say this every year, but next year I'm writing a novel. I don't care if I have to hole myself up in a room for three months, I'm writing a novel. It's long overdue, and my prose skills are going to go away if I don't start using them.

And now I've run out of things to say finally, so I'm going to work for ten minutes, get dressed, and then head out to pick up my bro.

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Down, But Not Desperate

I am having a bad day today. I am just running off at the mouth, spilling out my guts when I shouldn't. I am trying to keep my dignity about me, but I haven't done such a great job of it today.

Someone recently told me they could smell my desperation all the way where they lived, and they're right! There's no excuse for that, and it sickens me that that's what people might be seeing from my posts about work for Christmas money and such.

I've been blessed this year, and it's been a better year than the past half a decade. I'm not where I want or need to be in a number of areas right now, but I can't forget what good came of this year for me.

With that said, I apologize to all of you who for losing sight of things for a moment of weakness. I just wanted things to go well for my family who have seen more than their share of disappointments over the years. I know what has to be done, and that's all there is to it.

On that note, I'm off again, but I'll be back. I'm going to launch that thing I talked about either today or tomorrow just for the fun of it. Heck, I may launch two things I have in mind. I need to jolt myself out of this horrid day and jump back into the holiday spirit.

Cheers.

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Slow Load Times?

Is my blog loading slow for anyone? I have put too much stuff on it? Please let me know. It slows my browser up at an alarming rate!

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Some Recent Work

I figured I'd share some of my recent work for lack of anything better to post about this morning.

Here's a banner I did up for Haven. Simple, but effective.

And here's a banner I did for a blog discussing the current state of America. All the art is original digital art by yours truly. It's supposed to fade into the forthcoming white background of the blog, hence the fade into white, in case you were wondering.

Here's another piece of original digital art based on a reference pic, that will be used for a comic company logo.

And here's a logo I did for a film company.

Sorry, I can't show any lettering right now as I haven't acquired permission to yet. When I do I'll post it on the Comic Related forum thread where the Zombie Cop stuff is.

I'm trying to wrap up a couple of things today, but I'll try to post again later. I mentioned starting something on here last week, and I hope I'll have time to get that started today, but we'll see. It may have to wait until next week, or even after Christmas.

Remember, more of my samples can be found at www.gonzogoose.com!

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Still Here

I've been trying to catch up on work from when I was sick, and I've made a lot of headway. There are still just a couple of things I'm behind on that I hope to catch up today, but other than that everything is flowing along swimmingly.

You may notice the new banner up top. It's a PW ad in hopes to gain some extra cash through it. The buttons in the sidebar have done really well (the square, not so much), but obviously the payout is pretty low as the min. bid is $0 on those. So I've been trying to do a little more. We'll see how that works and how intrusive it becomes when it changes from Wannabez to something not linked to me and my stuff.

I've been scouring messageboards and freelance sites trying to find some extra jobs to get some Christmas cash, but as of yet I've been unsuccessful. There are plenty of jobs, but either their beyond my expertise, someone else gets chosen, or the pay just isn't good enough to justify the work. It's a shame this huge lettering gig I have starting next year sometime doesn't get an early start!

Though I'm currently working on a couple of graphic novel projects, the pay is on a completion schedule, so it's not upfront, and the bulk of it will come after Christmas, which doesn't really help me all that much at the moment. But hey, at least I'll have some money coming in the new year.

What little money I had set back for Christmas is steadily dwindling away on groceries and gas, and I have yet to buy the first gift! In fact, none of us have bought any gifts yet! Two weeks to Christmas and nada. It's hard because what my brother wants and needs will take up the bulk of what I have (or more), and so I'm not sure what route to go. I keep hoping some job will come up that will take care of it. We'll see.

I've said this before, but I know Christmas isn't about the gifts, and I could really care less if I get anything honestly. I just LOVE giving and seeing faces on Christmas morning when it's beyond expectations. It just gives me great joy to make that happen. But every year that it's been tight we've somehow been blessed to make it work, so I still believe things will work out...

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I'd be doing a post about Christmas movies soon. Did I already do that once? I can't remember, but I do recall talking about a couple of specific Christmas movies, and I don't want to be redundant or bore you all if I've already discussed the topic. So let me know!

With that said, I better get back to work.

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Wannabez #0 Still Available

I am still sitting on plenty of copies of Wannabez #0, so please purchase a copy for yourself, your children, a loved one, a friend, or all of the above! :) Help a friend out at Christmastime and purchase your very own copy of the very funny Wannabez #0!

Seriously, I really want to move these and get these out there. We're in two retailers now and are carried by a distributor, but as I said, I still have plenty of copies to unload. They're $3.95 + S&H within the US, which I know is a hefty price, but may soon be the standard. Paypal me (sidebar).

Thanks for supporting an independent comic creator, I hope you enjoy the book that I know you will all now purchase! :D



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Back!

Well, I got the site back up for now. Hopefully it won't be hacked again. I'll be changing my password later on tonight or tomorrow. Stupid hackers.

HIJACKED!

My website has been hijacked, which might explain my hits this week. I just discovered this. I'm working to fix it.

Numbers Tanked!

Well, I'm hoping this is due to the holidays and people being busy, and not because of the content on the blog, but numbers really took a nosedive this week. I had close to 8,000 hits last week and only an amazingly low 252 this week!

Please let me know if it's my posts that caused the drop and let me know what you want to read about so I don't bore everyone to tears! If it is the holidays then that's cool and certainly understandable.

Regardless, thanks for reading, I really appreciate your support!

Numbers Tanked!

Well, I'm hoping this is due to the holidays and people being busy, and not because of the content on the blog, but numbers really took a nosedive this week. I had close to 8,000 hits last week and only an amazingly low 252 this week!

Please let me know if it's my posts that caused the drop and let me know what you want to read about so I don't bore everyone to tears! If it is the holidays then that's cool and certainly understandable.

Regardless, thanks for reading, I really appreciate your support!

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Missed My Signing

Well, Friday night and into early Saturday morning I got really, really sick. I think I've got a touch of the flu to be honest. Scott thinks it's from my work/sleep schedule, but I think added to that and some stress, I have a draft in my bedroom that keeps it pretty chilly in there. But whatever the cause, I got no sleep at all Friday night, kept getting hot flashes and cold chills, had some serioue nasuea if you know what I mean, and felt like I was going to pass out every time I stood up.

Saturday morning I tried to stop Scott from coming, but he didn't get the message in time and came anyway. And with the weather we were having and a couple of accidents on the way, it took him three hours to make an hour and a half trip! Then he refused to take the gas money I offered, and he brought me a Christmas present (Incredible Hulk DVD!)! So needless to say I felt really bad.

I hated missing, I really did. I also missed seeing Chuck, the Ringtail Cafe crew, and Paul of CBW again, which bummed me out. And I'm still pretty sick. Aside from checking my email to get a report from Scott of the signing (which you can read here), I haven't even been on the computer. I've been in bed since Scott left the house yesterday around lunchtime save for a hot bath this morning to get warm and soothe my muscles.

I'm really sorry I missed anyone who came by to show their support. We're going to try to do another one there in March or April, so stay tuned.

As for today, while I've got the strength to be on here I'm going to try to get some of the stuff I said I was going to get done today done. I'm at the very least rested today, which is something I couldn't say yesterday. My throat's not quite as sore either, though I still sound bad and it still hurts a bit. So hopefully I'll be able to accomplish something.

You know, there's only been one year in probably the last decade I haven't gotten sick close to or during Christmas. I'm a pretty healthy guy, the gall stones and seasonal allergies aside, but during December I'm a magnet for every cold or flu that decides to come around. Ugh.

Well I think I've used up enough of my momentary uprightness blabbing away, so I'm off.

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Out Til Sunday

Well, I'm about to head to bed so I can get up early tomorrow. Scott will be here between 10:30 and 11, and the signing starts at 1. It's already almost 3am, so I need to get some rest even though I'm not really tired.

I may take my brother's laptop with me to do some work on the way, but it doesn't have all the programs I need, so I'll be limited. If Scott brings his digital camera, though, I may upload some photos on the way home and post them on the Wannabez blog and maybe here too.

We're supposed to go out to eat after the signing with Scott's wife and a couple of his friends from work, then I'll be heading home for some rest. I'll resume work Sunday some, then back hard at it Monday of course.

For any clients reading this blog, here's a tentative timetable for when you can expect something from me:

Corrective Measures #8 High-Res Files - In about 20 minutes
The Supremacy Cover and Int. Cover Corrections - Sunday first thing.
En Garde Pages 6 and 7, and Corrections to 1-5 - Sunday sometime.
Emptied Graves - Sunday evening
Genesis #2 - Tuesday
Tainted Pages 64-67 - Sunday/Monday
True West Stuff - Tuesday
Visionary Project - Tuesday/Wednesday
Visionary Logo - Next Friday
APA Website - Next Weekend
Wannabez #2 - Dec. 20th or Sooner
Music Artist Bios - Some Monday and then more flowing in throughout the week.
Anything Else - Ask Me

Those are the main priorities right now, so we'll see how that all goes.

Okay, it's after 3, Into the Blue just went off, and I need to hit the hay, so til Saturday night or Sunday morning...

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Journey of a Wannabe - Back at the Beginning

The new installment of my column is up! Click the title of this post to read it!

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Where I've Been

Allow me to apologize for my absence the past couple of days, I think I'm coming down with something. I've been pretty sick to the point of pretty much staying in bed all day Wednesday and Thursday. Heh, I think I told someone I had been out all day today, which was kind of true. I was out... like a light!

Last night I finally got up and at 'em and got out of the house for a few minutes, then returned to working, which I'm still doing at the moment. Of course, Saturday I probably won't get any work done, but I plan on working as much as I can Sunday.

Saturday I'll be in Florence, KY participating in my first signing! It's a little exciting, but at the same time a little intimidating. Hopefully we'll have a good turn out. I know we're supposed to get snow, but I don't think there's supposed to be any accumulation. Of course, that's here. Where I'm going is an hour north, so I don't know.

Early next week my uncle's going to come help me hang Christmas lights on the house provided I can get the outdoor outlets working. I've never hung lights before, and I don't have a ladder, so I had to call on some assistance.

I do believe here real soon I'm going to announce a little project/experiment. Just something fun that might bring in some pocket change. I'm not quite ready yet, but be looking for that probably by next week at the latest.

I'm also going to make a post about Christmas movies soon just because I love Christmas movies. I just watched Elf again the other day, and The Santa Clause and a couple of others have already been playing multiple times.

Don't forget that the next installment of my column will go up sometime today!

In what little spare time I have I've discovered that I'm pretty good at the online Wheel of Fortune game at www.wheeloffortune.com. I've only played it like 6 times and just discovered it a couple of days ago, but I'm scoring better than 97% of the recent players. :) Yep, I'm a sad, sad man. lol.

Well, I guess I better get back to it before I get too tired to continue or start feeling bad again. I just hope I can hold it together Saturday!

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Wannabez Signing Press Release

The official press release for the upcoming Wannabez signing is now up at the Wannabez Blog (click the title of this post)!

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Work Progress

My sleep schedule is soooo off! I am sleeping a decent amount of hours, but I'm going to bed at a different time every day and it's throwing me off.

Right now I'm sharing my computer with my little brother and we keep on trying to alternate so that while one of us is asleep the other one is up. The problem is we both keep going to bed at different times, and so inevitably he gets up before I'm done and vice versa.

Granted, my work takes precedence, but with everything he's gone through recently I'm trying to compromise.

That said, work progress has been slow since Thanksgiving. I finished Corrective Measures #9 and am awaiting pages from #10. I did not complete Venger #2 before Thanksgiving as I had hoped, and have not made much progress thus far.

Really my focus has been on a writing project and lettering En Garde, which needs some additions to pages already complete, and some finishing touches on the last two pages I have currently.

It's around 4:30 am as I type this and my brother will be up soon (he went to bed around 8:30 last night) and I'm getting tired (I got up around 2:30 yesterday afternoon), but I have not accomplished nearly as much as I had hoped. So hopefully this afternoon I'll get to do a little on the writing end, then through the night I'll be catching up on lettering.

The goal is to have En Garde completely caught up by Wednesday, and also have a good start on both Venger #2 and a project for Visionary.

Later in the week I've got some work to do on the Haven cart, but I may not get to that in depth until next week.

I've still got a couple of other lettering jobs as well as the APA site, which we hope to finish by the end of the year.

I just feel like I'm walking in place. I was in such a groove prior to the holiday, but since I've just been in slow motion. Maybe I'm just weighed down by turkey and pumpkin, or maybe it's because I haven't felt good, I don't know. But I have to do something to jolt myself back into action fast!

We'll see how today and tonight go, then I'll attempt to set some solid goals for the week to accomplish.

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First Day of Christmas

Yeah, traditionally, or as the song goes, there are only twelve days of Christmas, but seeing as this is now the first of December I am declaring this as the first day of Christmas.

When I was a kid, we had this calendar with little pockets on it and a little mouse that fit inside to indicate what day of December it was. Naturally, it went from the 1st to Christmas Day, and the art nodded to the ever popular poem/book 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, hence the mouse. It was always fun counting down the days.

In addition to that, my mom would help me make rings out of construction paper stapled together to form a paper link chain that hung on my doorknob. Each day I would tear a ring off until there was only one left, which meant it was Christmas morning.

Christmas was always a big deal in our family. My mom, aunts and Nana would go out of their way to have tons of presents under the tree, even if they were cheap little dollar store items or what have you. It was about the presentation and the appearance of Santa coming through the night and leaving our house full of presents.

But it wasn't just about the gifts, but the atmosphere and the togetherness. We would all decorate and make candy and play games. We'd sit around the tree in the heavily decorated living room on Christmas Eve drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies or programs, and just be together.

Then on Christmas we would wake up early, have breakfast and then open presents. Later in the day the whole family would get together and we had draw name gifts to exchange. See, each year we would each draw a name out of a hat or whatever and whoever we drew we'd buy that person a gift under a set amount (usually $15-20). Then we'd exchange those on Christmas Day, then eat lunch or dinner together. It was always just a magical time, and I always feel like a kid at this time of year.

When my brother was little I got to get in on the excitement of making the presence of presents the spectacle I always enjoyed. I remember the first year he was old enough to play with action figures and stuff I just went overboard. I had so many presents under that tree, and most of them were for Zach, you wouldn't believe it. And it's something I've tried to keep up ever since, following in the tradition of my family, even if they're small, inexpensive things.

The most important thing, though, is being together and enjoying that time together. I start listening to Christmas music well before Thanksgiving and keep it going until after New Years typically. We have the house decorated up real nice and cozy, and Christmas movies are a must! Break out the egg nog and hot chocolate and it's a done deal!

This year, for the first time in many, we are planning on getting together and making candy and stuff like in times of old. It should be a lot of fun getting together. We're also going to go look at the lights and all that kind of fun stuff, stuff we used to do years ago but haven't in quite some time.

This will be the first year without my Papaw, as it was our first Thanksgiving without him. He never really got involved on Thanksgiving anyway, but with Christmas he was a big hit. He used to put on the Santa hat and pass out gifts when I was younger, and in later years he still very much enjoyed the holiday in his own way. My Papaw could sing just like Bing Crosby, so when we'd play White Christmas he would sing right along as beautifully as he could. And he used to also play the organ and we'd join in singing along with him.

It'll be hard listening to those songs without him there, but with all of us being together it should be a time to reflect on those good times and enjoy each others' company all that much more knowing that we're not promised tomorrow.

As for gifts, I've not bought the first one this year yet, which has me a little nervous. But we'll manage all right. I think my mom's bought a few small things, but nothing major. I just keep plugging away at work to make it happen. We certainly won't be going overboard this year, but it's going to be special no matter what happens. For the first time in a few years now it really feels like Christmas to me this year, and I can't wait for the festivities to begin!

My family doesn't always get along, and that's my immediate and extended family I'm referring to. Many times myself, my brother and my mother are at odds, and we all three come from drastically different perspectives, yet are all a lot alike, so we're constantly butting heads and have a hard time seeing things from each others' points of view. But in this season, when it comes down to it, we come together as well as anyone could.

See, this holiday for me means so many things. It means that magic I experienced as a child that I refuse to ever let go of. It means a togetherness and closeness with loved ones in spite of differences and circumstances. And it also means a reflection on why we celebrate the holiday to begin with, which is in celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ our savior. Whether you follow that belief or not, for me it's the most meaningful reason to celebrate Christmas, and probably why I feel that closeness and joy so deep within this time of year.

So to all of you out there, whatever beliefs you may or may not hold, from me to you I wish you a very blessed and wonderful holiday season this year. May this countdown to Christmas bring you all together with loved ones, putting aside differences and grievances if even only for a day. I hope that it brings you great joy and peach despite the wading through the angry mobs to get the items on your wish lists. I pray it brings you happiness and love in these hard times that we face. And most of all, I just hope you all find a piece of time to spend with your families and enjoy each others' company.

God Bless.

B-Out