20s No More

Well, it's official. This is the day. I am no longer in my 20s, having crossed the threshold into a new stage. For today I am 30.

Though there is some debate over which day it is, the 20th or the 21st (I've heard both), I'm considering today also the first day of Spring. I am told the year I was born the 21st was the first day of Spring, and it's a story I'm sticking to. How awesome of an idea is it to be born on the first day of Spring, when new life is thought to begin? It symbolizes a fresh start and a new beginning, a new chapter in life. So what could be more fitting than that, I say.

Purely coincidentally this day, and technically this post marks my 500th post on this blog! It wasn't planned or premeditated, it just sort of happened that way. No big announcements to share per se, but isn't being my 30th birthday and the first day of Spring enough cause for celebration? I say it is.

And yes, you read that right. I said celebration. Not necessarily for turning 30, but for it marking a new era and fresh start, and beginning the rest of my life, as of course every day should and does whether we want it to or not.

Contrary to what you may have derived from previous posts, turning 30 never bothered me. It's a number, and it means one more year older. That doesn't bother me. My whole ordeal was being where I'm at by this age, not being this age. There are goals I have not yet met that I certainly thought would have been met by now. And there are things I was hoping would have changed for me by now, but haven't.

But this is not a day to think on those things. Those details are concerned with the past and what could have been, whereas today is a day of looking forward and opening oneself to the possibilities of what lies ahead. So it is with that that I embark on a new journey to discover not what could be, but what can be, at least for the day putting aside concerns over what lies in the path blocking those things, but concentrating on those things themselves. Those goals, dreams and aspirations that lie just over the horizon, just beyond the obstacles, just a few steps away, however large those steps may be.

This is a day of rejoicing for the good and positive things that have come to pass in my life thus far. For the people who truly stood by me, for the accomplishments I did achieve, for the steps that were taken, and for the love I have received.

Fifteen years ago, half my life ago, my brother was born. He has been the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my natural life thus far. I helped raise him and we formed such a bond between us that I had never experienced with another human being. Now he is in those teenage years, soon to be 15 and is into his own things and somewhat distant like all teenagers can be. But that bond still holds strong, and he is still the best thing to happen to me yet aside from God being in my life of course.

At 16 I had my first girlfriend, first serious relationship and first kiss (I was a late bloomer in the looks department - kind of awkward before then). It was an experience I will forever cherish regardless of how it all turned out.

I also had my first job at that age at Chuck E. Cheese's. Yes, I even donned the suit and danced a jig once or twice.

And I graduated high school this year as well. Long story, and I did end up having to go back for three months the following year to make up some tests.

At 18 I got my license (long story), which opened up an entirely new world to me. I could now take myself wherever I wanted to go. And I mostly went alone as everyone was too scared to ride with me!

18 is also when I accepted the call to preach, a call that has been sidetracked a few times over the years, but one that has not been forgotten by any stretch of the imagination.

On my 21st birthday there was a church outing - a get together at a gym where there was food, basketball, skating and other fun stuff. I didn't go instead opting to sleep in. It was my day after all, and the church I had been at since I was 8 had only remembered one of my birthdays up to that point, that being my 16th. So I decided I wouldn't be missed and would have more fun being by myself. Turns out I was missed as my pastor's daughter, a girl I had previously been crazy about for a number of years, but hadn't for a couple went all out. She made me a cake and dressed up in one of her best outfits at the time and made a big deal out of it. I hear she was pretty ticked I didn't show up, but she never let me know it. I still grin about that when I think about it. :)

One week later I started college (struggled for several years figuring out what I was going to do). I should have went to a more specialized college, maybe art or maybe a college that offered degrees in English or graphic design, but I went to a business-centric school where I studied Computer Science and ultimately Business Administration. I hated both and still do to this day, but it was not a waste. While I didn't go hog wild and party I did meet a few very special friends in those days. I've lost touch with them now, but they were great friends at the time and I couldn't have made it through without them.

At age 24 I got my first real job making more money an hour than I had ever made, and that's stayed pretty consistent since only with a couple of deviations. I absolutely hated the job with a passion, but I met some of the best friends of my life there. Again, I've fallen out of touch with them for a number of reasons, but they are the ones I miss the most. They showed me the kind of friendship I had shown others but had never really received myself. They were very special to me.

It was also this year that I went to Florida looking at apartments heavily considering moving there, both for work and because there were opportunities there, creative opportunities, that I wanted to explore. Ultimately reasons kept me where I'm at, but that was the funnest year of my life.

I also dated a girl this year that started off as a hangout buddy, and while we parted ways she was the best girl I have had the pleasure to have a relationship with to date. She was one of the kindest and sweetest persons I've ever met, and she thought the world of me. Sadly we were at different places and it didn't work out, but I'll always cherish the time we spent together.

At 26 I "preached" a benediction for a graduation service. Two of my Sunday School students were graduating high school, one who I'd known since she was a year old. It was a very moving moment for me to be able to deliver this. I choked a little, but all in all it went pretty well.

At 27 or 28 I did a video in one of those booths to a soundtrack at Kings Island (an amusement park in Ohio) and it was played for everyone there to see. I got some amazing feedback from it and even dropped the jaws of some family members. I had only previously sang in church, and mostly not alone. So they hadn't really heard me sing before that point. It's a moment in my life I'll never forget.

Nothing really significant or memorable has happened past that point that I immediately recall, though I'm sure there's at least one or two things I'm forgetting. But there were good times then as well.

Today is a new day to explore new things, to move on and move up and stop looking back. Those mentioned are the kinds of moments I wish to remember on days like this, and the countless little moments that happened in between.

So again I say, this is a day of celebration. To celebrate life, to celebrate opportunity, to celebrate change, hope, love, passion, dreams, desire, faith and so much more. For those reasons I rejoice in this day that the Lord hath made. I embrace the newness of life and a fresh beginning. I accept the challenge to go above and beyond, and to cling to the same hope that has brought me this far.

Today is my birthday.

B-Out